This article has probably been written a thousand times by a thousand different people, but as I can’t help reading every single one of them every time they cross my path, I realized that I, too, had learned a few stuffs over the last years. I’m no backpacking-through-half-the-world-in-six-months girl, but I still came across a lot of wonders and have one or two epic stories to tell. Therefore, I figured I’d be that kind of blogger and — tadah — here’s my two cents on what I learned being away and… wish to bring back home.
1. Norm is nothing but a concept
I’ve always heard the words “it’s normal to…”, “she’s not normal”, “that’s how people do” and every other sickening expressions that basically means “It is not how the majority does it so I can’t comprehend it and therefore I condemn it”. Well, newsflash: in every place that I’ve been, I’ve encountered abnormal stuffs according to my european culture. In China, it’s okay to spit on the street and little kids actually have holes in their pants for whenever they need to pee or poop on the floor (this blog is getting classier or is it me?). In Japan, there are no trashcan in the streets but everything is spot-clean; in Bali everyone takes time in the morning to refresh the offerings on the various altars of the house and taxi drivers don’t take their first clients until they’ve blessed their car.
The diversity I’ve encountered made me realize that “norm” depends on where you are and particularly with whom. Opening my mind to everything being possibly different made me realize that diversity also applies on the micro level, it all depends on the referent you chose (and my physic’s teacher would be so proud of me right now).
2. Everyday holds its surprises
This one might be the hardest to bring back home and it’s probably why wanderlusters have that hook right behind their bellybutton, compelling them to always go “away”. Travelling makes everyday different than the last, you are free to go anywhere and you go to bed every night knowing something you did not the night before, you’ve tasted new food, breathed a different air, felt things for the first time and it is exhilarating.
2.1. Corollary: The ability to wander and wonder
So yes, there is an excitement about the road, about not knowing where you’ll be sleeping tonight and what food you’ll taste and what songs will be played. But your ability to marvel at the world and being curious, hungry for new experiences is something you possess, it is in you, not out in the world. Which means you can chose to sparkle it anywhere, even at home. Your next adventure might literally be around the corner, when you start thinking like that.
3. You have a home; and it is ok to miss it
Having been raised in Tunisia and then moved to Belgium, I always felt like I did not belong anywhere which was ok, because it also meant that I could make a home everywhere. But since I’ve started travelling, I find myself introducing myself as Belgian. Being abroad made me realize that I do have a place to call home, and I really enjoy the feeling. I love being homesick, it means I have roots. There is something rather beautiful about going far away and then having a place to come back to.
4. Travel lightly and learn to do without things
Walking around with what is basically your home on your back from place to place rapidly teaches you that you don’t need that fifth pair of shoes or even your make up — hello, sun is your friend and you won’t use that blush more than once because you’ll get lazy anyway. Whatever you don’t have with you you can buy — but more often than not will you realize that you don’t need it either.
Plus being always on the road, you discover that less actually is more — your mother wasn’t lying — and that you don’t need all the fancy stuffs you compulsively buy at home, that they don’t fill the hole you have inside.
Travel does.
5. The worst moments always make the best stories
How cliché right? Well they do. When it’s dark and you’re lost in the middle of nowhere without any mean of communication and it’s raining and nobody understands you or when you are forced to make a sixteen hours train journey in the standing class without a seat, it might seem like the end of the world but, yes, you will laugh about it one day. And often sooner than later, I promise.
5.1. Corollary: It’s better to laugh than cry about it
So even in a nightmarish situation, try and keep your spirits up, as there is always a solution and your mom was right (again): crying about it won’t solve anything.
6. Everybody has a story
It’s easy to forget that before judging someone, you have to walk a mile in his shoes and that we should always be really nice to people because we don’t have any idea of their struggles. But I’ve also learned that asking is better than answering, that everyone is interesting per se. Everybody did stuffs, went places, read this or that, has a weird job or a story about his uncle or grand mother.
Monday is the people is a direct result of this idea.
6.1. Corollary: Shut up and listen
Nothing to add on this one, if you know me, you’ll understand.
7. Bucketlists suck
A friend of mine introduced me to the “fomo” concept a few weeks ago and it is exactly what this is about. Fear Of Missing Out is the plague of wanderers. It makes it impossible for you to be truly satisfied at the end of the day because for that, you would have to see and do everything, which is utterly impossible. You have to make choices, there isn’t time to do everything. I’ve learned that eventually and got good at predicting what I would regret not doing and what was just not worth wasting my time and energy.
Bucketlists are the same, you focus so much on checking things off of your list that you miss the unpredictable, the surprise, the little gems that no travel guide can teach you about. Get your nose out of your books and live a little, get over the fact that you will not fit everything into your schedule and let the fun start! Pretty much the same can be said about life: it is when you start doing things your own way that they become interesting.
8. Be your own travel buddy
Even if you are not travelling solo, don’t fool yourself: you will be truly alone most of the time. I don’t count the hours I have spent listening to music and to my own mind while riding buses and trains, for example. So learn to be comfortable with yourself, because only when you are, will you really be going towards others for the sake of meeting them, and not to avoid being on your own.